Dear Dr. Taverna,

I went to the World Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest today in Weatherford, and I thought of you because you're the only other person who ever wanted me to spit. You'd love this place. Everybody spits here, from little kids who can hardly walk, all the way up to old people (called smooth mouths because they can take out their false teeth).

The world record is 57' 8 1/2". I practiced for a long time, but the best I could do was 15' 2 1/4".

See you in September!

Your favorite patient,
Kate

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